The Absolute Worst of Pornhub VIII

There's only one reason people storyboard, shoot, edit and this kind of shit to the Internet. And it lives somewhere in between "I need to pay my taxes" and "$1 dollar pizza slices make me shit blood". Just three of life's little guarantees. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-]

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Testing a Sex Robot

For a minute there I was starting to lose faith in degenerate white guy's ability to keep me entertained. Then I was introduced to a fetish with more questions than Sylvester Stallone's medicine cabinet.

The Absolute Worst Of Pornhub XIII

Much like Labubu popularity, one has to question why half of this bullshit even exists in the first place. Emphasis on the 1:20 mark, which somehow still hasn't gotten a Crisco sponsorship . Simply brilliant. [more]

Incredible Acts, Depraved Humans 14

The whole "keeping up with the joneses" thing should probably be an abandoned concept when it comes to xxx content creation. If this behavior keeps up, the capybera population will end up being put on an endangered watch list.

The Absolute Worst Of Pornhub XIV

The more this behavior becomes mainstream, the harder it's going to be to come back from. Just ask the portfolios of any person that's posted on r/wallstreetbets. [more here]

The Internet Was A Mistake

You've heard that click-farming observation before. But it's never been so accurate after seeing 5 consecutive minutes of the world's most undesirable creatures run wild in their natural habitat. If anything at all proving that Valtrex should be a public company. [MORE]

The Desperate Doctor

My gut instinct tells me the era of slasher movies is dead when the practical effects guys start taking on jobs like this. The Friday the 13th reboot was bad. Cult of Chucky sucked. The new Halloween might work... but nothing can prepare you for this alternate ending to Fire in the Sky.

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The Absolute Worst Of Pornhub XII

A dozen volumes and all we can learn is a two-pack of Coors Light gives the confidence one needs to perform like a deranged circus animal. But today? That education is free. Practice what you see here and I promise them size 14 Bumble girls will never "lmao" at you again. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-] [-8-] [-9-] [-10-] [-11-]

CAMTASTROPHES #12

I was gonna tag one girl as "Funky Town" to see how many newcomers Google themselves right off the Internet, but I choose a more honorably path. So what did we end up learning today? Sharp objects and SNES soundtracks work extremely well together. That's what. cyclo-boob [HERE]

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The Most Talented Homeless Girl in London

Local vagrant takes us on a journey that blurs the line between southern cooking and female independence, as illustrated by a sex act that's led to more infections than a Marilyn Manson concert. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my KFC rewards points.

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Incredible Acts, Depraved Humans 11

Go ahead and scroll to the 4:30 mark for the feral fitness mom in the thumbnail. And while you're there, stay until 5:56 for a magic trick even Penn & Teller can't fucking explain. I can picture Burger King going into a bidding war with Sonic to buy ad space between the two. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-] [-8-] [-9-] [-10-]

The Living Legend: FUCKMEAT

There's a thin line between trailer park erotica, and soul-deep emotional trauma. Where that line exists I don't know... but judging by the amount of dollar store tattoos I'm seeing on that body, I'd say this human Hindenburg sure as fuck does.

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